Favorite Comedic Quotes

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Carmen · #46 Post by **Carmen** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 2:12 pm

Magnum: I prefer to be called a private investigator.
Higgins: You just prefer to be called.

(from The Pilot maybe??)

I think it´s from 'No need to know'

Agatha · #47 Post by **Agatha** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:31 pm

I was watching Don't Say Goodbye yesterday. How about...

TC: No money...no Maui!

and then...

TC: Squiggly! Wiggly! Man, where'd you get this from?

Italian Ice · #48 Post by **Italian Ice** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:35 am

From one of the best episodes ever, I Witness...

Rick: That's exactly the way I told it.
TC: No, it isn't!
Rick: Except...
Higgins: Except that neither of you is reciting anything even remotely resembling the truth! But then, what can one expect from simple, primitive minds that overload at the drop of a multi-dependent, clause-declarative sentence?
Rick: What?

N1095A · #49 Post by **N1095A** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 6:08 am

I found another one. Of course James being on top of things as usual has it in the episode guide.

(Magnum is conning Rick into helping him)
Rick: Alright, I'll do the favor, but let's get one thing straight, I'm not gonna put on ANY dumb disguise. I'm not playing garbage men, delivery men, sewer men, any other kind of men, is that clear?
Magnum: Of course.
(Cut to next scene, where Rick is dressed as a liquor store delivery man, delivering "muscatel for the penthouse")

By the way Agatha, I watched "Don't Say Goodbye" last night, and laughed out loud (really) at that scene. Mr. Mosley was just so great.

kudubuck · #50 Post by **kudubuck** » Sat Mar 07, 2009 1:13 pm

Tracey Spenser "We're going to get those girls that beat him up" I also like the ranting on The Legacy of Garwood Huddle when Magnum says he's going to track down the thieves of all the denture cream, or words to that effect, before meeting Garwood.

Italian Ice · #51 Post by **Italian Ice** » Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:24 pm

I put this on the "Yesteryear thread", but I thought this was funny to be put in this thread. This is actually from an episode of Remington Steele that I saw for the first time last weekend........

Episode: Cast in Steele

Steele goes to Dorothy Lemore's mansion to discuss her fan letters, as she has someone threatening her.

Rings doorbell, and Dorothy opens a 2nd floor window........

Dorothy: Who is it?
Steele: Oh, Ms Lemore, its Remington Steele.
Dorothy: Congratulations
Steele: I'm the private detective Lloyd Nolan called you about.
Dorothy: Oh....... I expected somebody more like Tom Selleck

Don't know if anyone remembers this one. Pretty funny when I heard it though.....

N1095A · #52 Post by **N1095A** » Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:05 pm

"L.A."
Higgins: "Hot dogs, peanuts, get your red hots here."
It's not so much the line, it's Higgins in the hot dog venderuniform, and the way he delivers the line.

Italian Ice · #53 Post by **Italian Ice** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:45 pm

Higgins is great with accents.

"Now buckaroo. Let Bronco ride"

Italian Ice · #54 Post by **Italian Ice** » Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:03 am

Higgins: You starch your undershorts?
Thomas: Doesn't everybody?

Higgy_baby · #55 Post by **Higgy_baby** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 1:47 pm

I like this sequence after TM surprizes Higgy and almost gets stuck with a foil.

Magnum:
'What's that?'

Higgins:
'Was your American education so lacking? That's Shakespeare; Romeo and Juliet, Act 3, Scene 1.

Magnum trying to look intelligent:
'Of course'

After some further discussion/negotiations Magnum:
'You want me to act"

Higgins with a devilish look of absolute delight and contempt:
'I wouldn't dream of giving you lines. We need supernumeraries.

Magnum:
Stunned look

Higgins:
'Extras'

After further dialogue, Higgins to Magnum as the latter is walking away:
'Oh Magnum. Bye the bye, our designer says you can try on your tights this afternoon'

#56 Post by **J.J. Walters** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 4:51 pm

"Was your American education so lacking? That's Shakespeare..." LOL!

I.I., where is the "starched undershorts" quote from?

StarchedUndershirts · Sun Aug 30, 2009 1:50 am

I crack-up evertime I watch "Thank Heaven For Little Girls..." and one of them (repetedly) calls Higgins "Huggins."

Italian Ice · #58 Post by **Italian Ice** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 1:11 am

James, its from "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" right after Rick phones Thomas using Robin Masters private line, just about 5 minutes into the episode.