The Files of Kenji, Staff Gardner - Robins Nest

[Doc Ibold]

Faith and Begorrah:

Hawaii has a way of making reunions all the more special. I suppose it's the sunsets or the climate that give you that warm and fuzzy feeling. Unfortunately, the reunions I'm referring to weren't quite warm and fuzzy for Higgins or myself. Higgins ended up running into his half brother, and I got to reunite with one Brigadier Alistair Ffolkes.

It all started when Magnum decided to take a divorce case. He usually tries to do insurance work or wait for one of his "larger" cases that come up every year in order to avoid surveillance on spouses, but Ferrari repairs aren't cheap, nor is Mr. Masters champagne. Higgins wasn't in the best of moods lately, as he had stumbled upon a several month long case of writers block on his memoirs. I suppose he took his frustrations out on all of us, as he had me rip out all of the street side shrubbery, and Magnum was being charged for wear and tear on the Ferrari. On a brighter note, Higgins did seem to take some solace in tracing back his lineage, which gave us at least some reprieve from Typhoon Higgins and all his wrath.

So, needless to say Magnum was on a divorce case, and didn't seem particularly happy about it. He was in and out of the estate at all hours, so he must have been either working hard or trying to avoid paying Higgins. Imagine my surprise when Magnum showed up in the middle of the afternoon wanting to see Higgins. He claimed he met an Irish priest in a bar who looked exactly like Higgins! He ran into the house excitedly.

After they were in the house for awhile, I decided I should probably go and check on the two of them. Knowing Magnum, he would make some sort of glib remark about Higgins lineage quest and make life unbearable again. I wasn't going to make that mistake.

I overheard them talking about a "Father Paddy MacGuiness", who apparently was Higgins' half brother. Or, "Illegitimate half brother", as Higgins was quick to point out. Higgins was getting more and more agitated, so I decided to sit outside with the new maid and eavesdrop. From what I could gather, Papa Higgins got around and more than lived up to his name.

Higgins rambled on about the Queen Mothers wing of the Hawaiian Museum opening, which brought back a memory of why Higgins wanted me to pull out the shrubs. Brigadier Alistair Ffolkes was to be staying at the estate. Yes, he of the excessive body cavity searches that had me walking gingerly for about two weeks after he left. He, of the bullet holes in the bougainvillea from shooting that stewardess, and he of the... Well you get the point.

Magnum suggested that Higgins have Father Paddy stay at the estate, which seemed abhorrent to Higgins. But, I guess brotherly love won out, as Higgins soon left for the Low Surf motel. I actually know the manager there. He says he wants to start a production company someday... But all he seems interested in is hanging out. Oh well, to each their own.

Higgins returned with Father Paddy, who in the looks department, had some sort of strange "Middle Aged Male Parent Trap" thing going on, because they could very well have been the same person. A short peek into Father Paddys personality revealed that he was the anti-Higgins. As coarse as Higgins was refined. Unkempt as Higgins was buttoned up and a gleam in his eye that suggested he was up to no good. I liked him immediately. Higgins immediately had me take him on a tour of the islands, while the Brigadier showed up with the Queen Mothers tiara. I was more than happy to oblige.

The tour in and of itself was a delight with Father Paddy telling stories of Ireland and his church, and how he was on a "Mission from God" to recover a relic of St. Patrick's that was stolen from his Church by the Brigadier. He did have one request to go and buy some Irish Whiskey. He smelled like a distillery already, but once he said it was to have a little fun with the Brigadier... I made a U turn and went to the nearest liquor store I cold find. I told him the booze was on me. I also bought him a pack of cigarettes because everywhere we went, he kept picking through ashtrays. Some may say my hygiene is questionable due to all the compost I find myself in, but that grossed me out so much, I decided to feed the habit rather than watch him rummage anymore.

Father Paddy's little trick was more than I bargained for, as he replaced all of Higgins Scotch with Irish Whiskey! After Higgins read him the riot act, I confided in Father Paddy not to tell Higgins of my involvement. He told me it would be considered a confession and to say a few Hail Marys and get him another nip of Irish. (Higgins had poured out all the Irish we brought in retaliation.) Even though I wasn't Catholic, I decided to say them anyway and head back to the liquor store. If you tell the priest you're going to do something, you had better do it!

When we returned, it was almost time for dinner. Father Paddy was adamant in his resolve that he was going to confront the Brigadier about the theft. I made no effort to stop him. Agatha had shown up and found the entire situation to be delightful. I decided to hang around and watch the fireworks. It was all fun and games until Father Paddy said he stole the tiara!

Magnum soon returned and made an entrance just as Higgins was about to explode. Magnum diffused the situation and decided they all needed to chat about the circumstances. Everyone decided that the Brigadier was an honorable man (Father Paddy and I still have reservations in that one), but wouldn't have stolen the relic and that since Father Paddy was a priest he wasn't lying about it being stolen.

Magnum and Higgins drove Father Paddy and the Brigadier to the airport, as they decided to return to Northern Ireland together. When Magnum returned, he told me excitedly about ANOTHER Higgins sibling, Soo Ling, his half sister.

I thought of Elmo, who Higgins more than admirably passed himself out as, and his uncanny resemblance to Father Paddy. I then shuddered thinking about a female Asian version of Higgins and went to the study to see if I could find out if Father Paddy left any Irish around.


ESTACION TRES... ADIOS. HOLA ESACION CUATRO!!

[ConchRepublican]

"Mission from God" without dark sunglasses?

Another excellent entry!

[308GUY]

"As coarse as Higgins was refined. Unkempt as Higgins was buttoned up and a gleam in his eye that suggested he was up to no good. I liked him immediately."

Great line!

Doc, you still got it. I'm still reading and enjoying, take your time, we'll wait, just don't quit.

Glad to see these have been upgraded to "sticky" status, well deserved, and easier to locate for us.

Keep up the good work, and you're forgiven for any delays caused by being a fan of "foosball" (terminology courtesy of Bobby Booshay's mama... )

[Doc Ibold]

SEASON FOUR

Home From The Sea:

Every Fourth of July, Americans consider it their right celebrate the Fourth in different ways. Sometimes it's a barbecue, or a ball game. In Hawaii, it might be going to the park with a special someone to watch the local fireworks and reflect on what made this country great.

Of course, it's mainly Americans who view it this way, as Higgins becomes a version of the Grinch leading up to it and doesn't get back to normal (or at least as "normal" as Higgins gets) until about a week afterwards. One would think this would be a major problem for Magnum, except that every Fourth of July he begins his lonely sojourn into the ocean for the better part of the day and end it with a six pack of Old Dusseldorf on the deck of the guesthouse watching the sun go down. I used to think it strange, and I asked Magnum once why he spent the Fourth by himself. The normally jovial Magnum just regarded me with a look and said "The Fourth means different things to different people, Kenji. I think being out on the ocean by myself is what it means to me."

I never asked him about it again, and just took it as another rhythm of Hawaii. Besides, Magnum always is bright as ever on July 5th, so I didn't really worry about it until this year.

The Fourth began as it always did with Higgins making up some excuse to do inventory, which kept me busy for the better part of the morning cleaning up the potting shed and making sure everything was accounted for down to the last bit of seed. I passed Magnum going down to the tidal pool, and he gave me a half wave and continued to stare out to the ocean on his way to the beach.

Luckily for me, the Inter Island polo tournament was being held over the 4th weekend and Higgins was preparing his battle strategy with Agatha, so the inventory went surprisingly quick. I was able to get out of the estate and head over to the club where I was going to meet Kiki for drinks and a quick brunch.

We had planned to see if TC could take us up in his chopper for a moonlight cruise, but he was busy taking his baseball team to the Islanders game and had to take a rain check, so we decided to make a day of it before the fireworks and Maku's family luau.

We ran into Rick as he was headed out on the King Kamehameha II with a girl he had met the night before. He gave me a wink, and wished Kiki and I a happy Fourth. We sat down and began brunch as we saw him leave the harbor. Soon after he left, two tourists rented a boat and nearly clipped some of the moored yachts. They were driving like fools, on a speedboat called the "Hot 'n Heavy", and were liable to get someone killed. I hoped that the police would pull them over before anything bad happened.

And then I thought of Magnum and got a bad feeling. I said a little prayer that he wouldn't run into them, and felt a little better once I realized the Hot 'n Heavy was going in the opposite direction of the estate and there was a LOT of ocean out there.

Kiki and I went to Maku's luau and we ended up spending a lot of time with her nieces and nephews, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Kiki noticed and we decided to call it a day. I dropped her off at her apartment and decided to go looking for Old Dusseldorf to bring to Magnum. When I got to the estate, Agatha was leaving, and in a tiff. I assumed it was due to Higgins being oblivious to her advances, as usual. But Agatha, of all people, should know that Higgins romantic side did NOT emerge on the Fourth of July.

I found him pacing the lanai, and asked if he saw Magnum. He told me he hadn't returned yet, but assumed he was out with Rick at the Boom Boom Room and took his surfski to the club. He put on a good act, but his eyes darting to the ocean told me otherwise. I told him that I forgot some equipment in the back of my van to add to the inventory and told him I would be staying around to finish it off. He absently agreed that would be a good idea, but his eyes never left the path to the tidal pool.

I hung around for awhile, and decided to rearrange the potting shed. When I couldn't find another reason to stay around at midnight, I went to the main house to bid Higgins good night. He was holding a brandy snifter and swirling it in his hand by the window. The intercom rang, and it was TC looking for Magnum. Once they had both confirmed they hadn't seen him return, Higgins buzzed him in. They headed immediately for the Guesthouse.

Rick soon called in in the CB. TC and Higgins told him that Magnum was still missing. They decided it would be best for Rick to stay where he was and that they would leave in the morning to do an aerial search.

Unbelievably, Magnum was treading water for nearly two days. Higgins and TC found him a few hundred yards off the King Kamehameha II. He was extremely dehydrated and sunburned but he was going to make a full recovery. Higgins, the guys, myself and even Agatha chipped in to buy him a new surf ski.

When he was able to come home from the hospital, we all surprised him with the surf ski. As everyone left, I decided to ask Magnum why he went out on the ocean by himself on the Fourth. I didn't expect an answer, but he very candidly opened an Old Dusseldorf and told me that his father was shot down in Korea and buried on the Fourth of July. He pointed to his watch and recounted that the watch he wore was his fathers. He also told me that he was positive that his fathers spirit, as well as thoughts of Michelle helped keep him alive during that time. His time on the sea was of his remembrance of his father being lost all those years ago and that that was the one place and day where he felt that his father was still with him... And the fact that he was sitting in that deck talking to me was proof that his feeling was the truth.

I have little doubt next year that Magnum will be out on the sea again, but he will not be as alone as he thinks he will be, whether it be from those above watching him, or all of us back on land waiting with some Old Dusseldorf for him to come home from the sea.

[ConchRepublican]

Excellent Doc, excellent ....

[J.J. Walters]

As usual, great stuff Doc!



Keo the maid is wondering why her good friend Kenji never speaks of her.

[Doc Ibold]

She is the Kenji version of Joey.



Kidding.. she will make some appearances shortly probably starting with Operation Silent Nightand more so in 5 & 6.

[Doc Ibold]

Luther Gillis: File #521:

Keeping track of Magnum's unauthorized (in Higgins view) guests is a feat in and of itself. Some are very easy to remember, such as Michelle. Others, barely stir a memory. Of course, some are especially unforgettable due to the unmitigated rage of Higgins at their presence, such as the "Kudu Buck" or "Elizabeth Barrett" the KGB agent with Merlin the attack macaw.

Even with all the crazy things that happen around here... I still maintain that they way they captured her was made up in order to get a rise out of me. However, TC swears that's how it went down, so maybe perhaps a small part of me believes its authenticity.

The one thing about all of these guests is that at least the guests usually have one supporter on the estate, be it Magnum, Higgins, myself or the rest of the staff. That all changed when we were introduced to one "Luther H. Gillis, PI - St. Louie"

Magnum was working a case for a mother whose child had run off to the islands and she wanted Magnum to find her and get her back. Magnum wasn't excited because runaways are often difficult to track down. As inventory was done for the summer, I had a little bit more freedom in my duties at the estate.. At least for a short while.

I decided to go and visit my old friend Leo. Leo used to work at the flower store I owned before I came to Robins Nest. He has a PhD from the University of Hawaii and used to be an associate professor of History, until he decided to give it all up to "experience life" and write the great American Novel. He had been at it for over a decade the last time I could recall. He had, and has, a real knack for the subject. However, there wasn't a whiskey sour he couldn't pass up, and seeing as he isn't the most pleasant inebriated soul about, so he often finds himself in trouble. Leo, though, is an eternal optimist and he looks at his stints in jail as passages of time where he can drown out the outside world and experience the "full spectrum of the human condition." We had a quick dinner and bade each other farewell.

The next day, Robins Nest was treated to the visit of Luther H. Gillis. Now Robins Nest has seen coordinated invasions from security experts, destruction of property, KGB agents, strip searching brigadiers, deranged femme fatales and even a hurricane. I don't think one of them did as much damage or caused as much irritation on all sides than Luther.

Higgins was holding his women's Kung Fu class on the estate. Agatha had asked him if he could hold it there as a favor, to keep the ladies safe. I was getting quite a laugh from watching Higgins lead them. It was a very slow motion, awkward class with Higgins punching left and right. There were some snickers from my end, and the look on Higgins' face told me I should perform my duties elsewhere.

I was working by the gatehouse when a blue sedan pulled up with a battered Magnum and a boisterous older man. Magnum was having some trouble with the lock (and noise in general) so I decided to help him out. Magnum introduced Luther, as a fellow private investigator. Luther corrected him with "Private Eye", and Magnum shot back with "Investigator". amonst other things, Luther seemed to have some trouble grasping my name. He kept insisting that my name was Chachi, and took great amusement in asking me about "The Fonz". Magnum apologized and they left for the main house.

I decided to follow them, after I saw Luther get into some sort of disagreement with Higgins. All I could hear about was divorce cases. He must have irritated one of the ladies, because she went charging at him ready to strike and he punched her square in the face! Magnum quickly gathered Luther and took him to the guest house.

Luther emerged from the guest house and saunterd past the Kung fu class, and left. As he drove past the gate house, he asked (yelled) at me to where Akamooki Road was. I looked at him blankly, at which point he shook his head and said "Maybe you should be teaching those broads instead of the butler." My blank stare turned to disbelief as I watched him drive off.

Magnum staggered out of the guest house, and made a quick phone call to Rick. He soon left in a hurry in the Ferrari.

When Magnum returned, it was the polar opposite. Luther was seeing stars, but he still remembered me as "Chachi".. Unfortunately. Magnum decided to leave Luther at the estate, to Higgins' utter irritation. Magnum left Luther smelling the flowers, so to speak.

We tried to keep Luther occupied, but he kept trying to scale the walls. Between "Chachi" and "The Butler", we were both having our fill of him. Finally he decided to sit down for some lemonade we prepared. What we didn't know, is that even a woozy Luther could whip up a mean Mickey. When we awoke, Luther was long gone with the Audi. Apparently, he can Hotwire as well.

When all was said and done, Magnum, Higgins, myself, Rick and TC were glad to see Luther go. They ended up getting in a shootout, but Nancy Perkins was safe and sound at Sister Roses. We all breathed a sigh of relief in the thought that Luther would soon be a distant memory.

On a side note, Leo had apparently put me down as next of kin. He was in a hospital under observation for a suicide attempt! He had gotten a little rowdy at a bar after our dinner. Apparently he was trying to write when a hulking beach bum and his father harassed him while he was writing. They kept berating him and calling him "Scrungo", and it got so bad, he felt the only way out was to kill himself. I couldn't figure out why anyone would want to go after Leo like that, so I figured I would ask Magnum to track those guys down one day... Or at least talk to Lt. Tanaka.

[Doc Ibold]

Smaller Than Life:

Even though life at Robin's Nest comes with its share of strange characters and even stranger occurrences, every once in awhile a series of events is so bizarre that it's hard to believe it actually happened. Most of the time, it's due to one of Magnums cases, or a guest of Robins... And once in a blue moon, it stems from Higgins past or eclectic interest. This time, this series of events was directly attributable to Rick, or more specifically - one Waldo Norris.

Magnum had gotten himself laid up in the hospital while hang gliding in the the hopes of impressing a lady named Savannah. They had met on the beach one day at the club, while Magnum was jogging and he had bumped into her while Higgins and Agatha were supervising my crews construction of a scale model of the Tower of London.... out of sand.

Some back story: Rick was holding the clubs annual sandcastle competition to benefit the local community center, when he had unwittingly challenged Higgins to create the Tower by stating that he was going to try for Mount Rushmore, and would easily win. Higgins, and his British pride, begged to differ.

So needless to say, Magnum swerved and Savannah tumbled and Higgins was quite put out. He soon left with the Ferrari, but Magnum didn't seem to mind. They were going out for several weeks when it turned out that Savannah was a bit of an adrenaline junkie and had Magnum embarking on all sorts of stunts, against his will... But doing it for the sake of romance.

So, Magnum ended up with cracked ribs and a separated shoulder and we had some visits in the hospital. TC and Rick had gone to visit him one day, and that's where the entire escapade happened. Higgins was irate at Magnum purposely injuring himself to get out of handling security for the Preservation of the Aloha Historical society event, and was finding any excuse to call Magnum and berate him. I secretly think he was calling to check in, but pride wouldn't allow him to admit it.

On that day, someone named Waldo Norris called the club looking for Rick.. And he was calling from the local jail. He claimed to be an old friend from Chicago, so Keoki took the message and called the hospital.

When we finally met Waldo, he was a short man... Even shorter than Rick, which is saying a lot. Rick took him directly to his office and said that they weren't to be disturbed. And if anyone was to ask about either of them, they weren't there. Which in Rick-ese, meant that they had gotten in some sort of trouble. I decided to head back to the estate with the crew and start work on the Aloha Historical Society gala.

I wasn't sure why, but Waldo soon showed up to the estate. Apparently he was with the Smithsonian and before long, smooth talked his way into the study. And smooth talking ones way into the study is a feat in and of itself where Higgins is concerned, as he considers that his "inner sanctum". I'm not sure if Robin knows he feels that way, or not.

I saw Waldo leave rather suddenly. Soon after Rick showed up... And we learned that Waldo was not, in fact, with the Smithsonian... But was a con artist whom Rick owed a debt to. Apparently he had made off with the plans for the Braden estate AND managed to sneak past the lads. Whomever Waldo Norris was, Magnum would definitely like to get his hands on that play book in regards to manipulating Higgins and the lads.

Later that night, TC showed up to search Magnums guest house for some things Magnum had borrowed. Higgins let him in, so long as he promised to look for a list of Robin Masters things. Rick came by soon afterwards with Waldo. Higgins was about to throttle Rick, but they eventually came to some compromise, as Rick left for the guest house, presumably to convince TC.

Rick left, but not before relating that he needed my assistance (along with Higgins, the lads and TC) to keep Waldo on the estate. Apparently, NOW he was with the CIA and on a secret mission. He needed Magnums assistance to verify it, even from a hospital bed.

When he returned, it sounded like he truly was a CIA agent. I was still skeptical, and then doubly so when he pulled a gun on me and hot wired the Jimmy. I was even more confused when TC, Higgins and Rick left a short while later saying they were going to go help him out!

When everyone returned, it sounded like the mission was a complete success. Rick was telling the most outlandish stories of Kung fu fighting and Higgins bashing people over the head with flashlights!

Needless to say, the gala went on without a hitch. Higgins was back to his normal self when the largest man I have ever seen appeared at the gates. He said his name was Wilbur Alan Renfro and was an old friend of Ricks. I decided to leave while the getting was good.

[Doc Ibold]

Distant Relative:

Normally Magnum is a relatively easygoing guy, in that he lives his life as a series of ebbs and flows, never getting too high or too low. He takes Higgins quirks with an easy grin, even when he is under scrutiny for violating one of the estate bylaws, the full extent of which only seem to be known by Higgins and grow at his whim. I state normally, because there is one instance in which Magnum can get a bit grouchy and that is when his sleep is interrupted.

The general rule of thumb is that Magnum is not to be roused or disturbed until he decides he is ready to awaken, at which point he resumes being his normal self. I have found this out the hard way on several occasions when using the weed whacker around the guesthouse in the early (and sometimes later) morning hours.

So it was no surprise that Magnum was a bit out of sorts when Higgins and Agatha decided to stage a reenactment of the Battle of Britain at 7am using "perfect scale replica" radio controlled airplanes. I had just gotten to work and was busy clearing out my truck for a day of shopping in preparation for Rick's sister's visit when I noticed Magnum and Higgins getting into a shouting match, which resulted in Higgins losing the Battle of Britain by having the RAF take a nosedive into the beach.

Magnums mood seemed to improve significantly at this somber turn of events in the annals of world history.

But onto the main matter at hand, which was the visit of Ricks sister. Rick was like a man possessed for weeks leading up to his sisters arrival. He was insistent that everything at the club be just right, and kept telling stories about how Wendy was sweet and innocent and attended a Catholic all-girls college in Chicago. Which was very brotherly up until the point he made every male member of the staff sign a form that they would not and I quote "Lock eyes, engage in inappropriate conversation, flirt, hit on or in any way molest his sweet baby sister". I wasn't sure how legal (or sane) that was, but for a little guy, Rick can sure be intimidating when he wants to be... So the lot of us signed the agreement just to keep him off our backs.

He was so paranoid, he determined that she couldn't be at the club after dark so she wouldn't be exposed to any impure elements. So, that's where he decided to enlist Magnum and TC to act as a chaperone for her during the nights. Despite trying to get out of it, friendship prevailed and Magnum ended up taking Wendy out with serious misgivings.

That night, I decided to hang out at the club to see how this would all play out, simply out of a sick sense of curiosity. I knew that Magnum wasn't the type to try anything with a buddy's sister... but I had to hear about the resolution of the night. Hours passed and Rick was in a fury that Magnum didn't bring Wendy back by her 10:30 curfew. It also didn't help that TC spent the night dropping hints of what they could be doing. When Magnum arrived you could hear the yelling from the office, but all we could make out was "Tijuana Tokyo" and Carol Channing. Whatever that date turned out to be, it had to be a heck of a story!

Magnum and Rick decided to head to the hotel to see if she was there, and that is where it all went to hell.

The next morning, we learned that Wendy was found dead the night before, and Rick was inconsolable. His fury was directed at all who tried to talk to him, and especially focused on Magnum.

On a side note with Rick, while hot tempered, I often wondered how he served in Vietnam as he didn't seem especially prone to sustained violence. I guess losing the only member of your family when you put your trust in your best friend can do that to a man. Now, I know for a fact that Magnum would have died a thousand deaths if it would have prevented Wendy's, and deep down Rick knew that too. But in the heat of the moment, rage sometimes clouds the facts and emotion takes over. And that emotion manifested itself in a punch after Magnum told Rick that she was mixed up in some illicit activities... which was the straw that broke the camels back.

Rick soon disappeared after that, and he placed Keoki in charge.

Even Higgins rage towards Magnum ruining his reenactment seemed to abate after he learned of Wendys death. After a few hours of discussion, Magnum called TC and they decided to go see Icepick and see what he knew about Ricks whereabouts.

All I know of the next few hours is that the Rick came back to the club in fatigues and left on a speedboat, without a word to anyone. Magnum and TC arrived soon afterward and left for Island Hoppers.

The next day, Rick spent most of the morning drinking beer under the watchful eye of TC. Whenever anyone asked about Wendy, Rick would only reply that it was handled. Magnum soon arrived and broke the news that Wendy was an innocent bystander in a random act of violence, which sent him over the edge again. But every wave of emotion has to crash at some point, and Ricks hit the shore shortly afterward with TC and Magnum there until the end.

The next day, I started work on Higgins gardenias and walked into Magnum singlehandedly ending the RAFs rematch in the Battle Of Britain... With a shotgun. And as odd as it was, I finally felt things were getting back to normal again.

[J.J. Walters]

Another great entry, Doc!

When Magnum arrived you could hear the yelling from the office, but all we could make out was "Tijuana Tokyo" and Carol Channing. Whatever that date turned out to be, it had to be a heck of a story!

LOL!

[308GUY]

Distant Relative:
Magnums mood seemed to improve significantly at this somber turn of events in the annals of world history.

Another excellent entry Doc!

I hope you are making hard copies of your work. When you get through the entire series, they can all be in one binder, in order, THAT'D be a keepsake!

Nice work.

[Doc Ibold]

Limited Engagement:

Just in case anyone ever asks me, I always make a point to tell them what an ordeal it can be in getting the estate ready for one of Robin Master's charity/society or spur of the moment events at Robin's Nest. Or, in this case, one of Magnum and Higgins'

While the estate is for the pleasure and entertainment of Robin and his guests, it takes my crew generally 4-5 days to prepare the grounds for just such an event - if we're lucky. One may think it's just fertilizing and planting and trimming and all other things that a groundskeeper must do. But, as part of my duties, I run interference for Higgins in coordinating with the vendors and my team and I are in charge of all the setting up and taking down of said events (unless it is contracted out to the vendor itself).

So, when Magnum got a job at a convenience store, the last thing I expected was the Great Hawaiian Bingo Bash to be held at the estate! But, as Higgins would say - To begin at the beginning.

Magnum had accepted a position with Day & Dark, Inc to help solve some mysterious thefts that had been occurring there. Which, at this point didn't affect me except for Rick and TC pestering me to go visit Magnum at his particular store to go and purchase some pickled eggs.

Which, on a side note... I think Magnum was expecting that he would be using his usual methods of staking out and not going undercover as a clerk. Definitely not once of his more glamorous cases. But back to pickled eggs..

I don't even like those things, but they were so persistent, I decided to go just to get them of my back. From the exasperated look I got from Magnum, this wasn't the first time a friend of his had stopped by and that he shared the same view that I did.

But, needless to say, the Great Hawaiian Bingo Bash started when Magnum brought Jeanie and Madge LaSalle by for a visit with Higgins.

Apparently a man in a hot rod had stolen the money from the Day and Dark (which Jeanie and Madge kept insisted that he didn't. It also turned out that Magnum had brought them to the estate to solicit Higgins' help in setting up a fundraiser to aid in purchasing their retirement home, which they were under notice for. It all seemed well and good, but in matters such as this good intentions for Magnum generally do nothing but agitate Higgins.

However, they did take the time to point out their appreciation of some of my more subtle work around the estate.... A trait that may spare Higgins' inevitable irritation that usually followed Magnum bringing a guest home, not to mention the fact that they insisted on calling Magnum "Tommy" to his chagrin (and Higgins delight).

Higgins seemed to have the distinct feeling that he had met the LaSalle sisters before even though they had assured him otherwise. Needless to say, Higgins tasked me with getting the estate in top presentation form in a day and a half for a bingo tournament Monday at 1pm.

Magnum and the LaSalle sisters soon left, and Magnum soon found himself out of a job after the Day and Dark was robbed while he was being punched in the face by a road worker. I sometimes wonder if he makes this stuff up.

Higgins was busy prepping for the party, and by busy, I mean him fussing over corn kernels. He and Rick soon went to the guest house arguing the entire way. Higgins soon left muttering about calling Ice Pick for the bingo gala. I was surprised that Higgins hadn't heard Rick mention him before, but I knew that Magnum had called in a favor to Rick, who in turn called in a favor to Ice Pick.

The gala came and lasted longer than anyone ever thought. Higgins decided to go on a marathon of remembrances, musings and "Greatest Hits" from his past. Most of Hawaiis high society got to experience what myself, Magnum, Rick, TC, the lads and Agatha get to experience daily. Well, Agatha doesn't really count as she seems to enjoy them.

TC ended up winning everything and graciously donated his winnings to the Fountainbleu Home. But, that wasn't the end of it all. I caught up with Magnum as he left for the Ferrari. It turned out that the LaSalle sisters were quick change artists who had been robbing the Day and Darks in order to help out their housemates.

Magnum eventually caught up with them after a major heist (which they helped to foil) but they gave him the slip with one more performance. Luckily, the mastermind was taken into custody. We never heard from Jeanie or Madge again, but a few months later, we learned that the Fountainbleu was purchased a company called the Archer Corporation... Which gave Magnum and Higgins the most curious grin when they heard it.

[98golf]

I own a publishing company and wish we could bind all these together into a book when you are done. Unfortunately, I don't think we could ever get clearance. I would be willing to do the leg work, but it would be a long shot.

[T.Q.]

Only recently discovered these really.

They are so great.

Wish you had kept going.