The Six Million Dollar Magnum

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Lindsay Writer
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Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:48 pm

The Six Million Dollar Magnum

#1 Post by Lindsay Writer »

I know what you're thinking and you're right. It would be crazy to make me a bionic man but that's what Universal and CBS decided to do in a parallel universe. We didn't have Don Bellisario to rewrite Glen Larson's cliche'd pilot script and I was under contract so I had to star in The Six Million Dollar Magnum but we got canceled after 13 episodes.

No more cool opening credits with Ian Freebairn Smith's awesome theme music which was much better than the Post & Carpenter version. All they did was put close-ups of me in place of Lee Majors:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGO57y4td-c

Gentlemen we can rebuild Lieutenant Thomas Magnum. We have the technology to make him faster stronger smarter than he was before he crashed in our top secret Navy space plane. He will be able to run on the beach with his bionic legs at 75 mph. He will be able to throw a Ferrari 5 miles with his bionic arms. He will be able to hear with his bionic ears a sound from 20 miles away. His bionic eyes will allow him to see a person 30 miles away. He will be the world's best sniper sharpshooter.

And that's how it happened. I was an ordinary Naval Intelligence Officer who stupidly volunteered to test the Navy's top secret space plane and after it crashed they rebuilt me. They turned me into a cybernetic humanoid more machine than man. Better and smarter than Higgins. Much faster than Zeus and Apollo they never came close to catching me.

Now I am stuck with my bionic super powers. Unfortunately nobody wanted to see this version of my show after Lee Majors finally got canceled with his bionic show. I lost out on Raiders of the Lost Ark because I couldn't get out of my stupid TV contract. But at least I still have my bionic abilities. Now I travel the world looking for trouble and finding it. For I am The Six Million Dollar Magnum.

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